Tag: Cylvia Hayes

Life Commencement

Posted on by Cylvia Hayes

This is the time of year when lots of us are attending High School and college graduation ceremonies. It’s usually both joyous and bittersweet for the parents.

A good percentage of the clients I support are people who are at mid-life, facing transition and working toward launching the next chapter of life. Having the kids fledge is often part of this period when people start really looking at what’s next.

It occurs to me it’s a little sad that we have ceremonies to recognize and honor important rites of passage like marriage and graduation but nothing at all to honor the incredible feat of making it to full-blown mature adulthood!

At this point we’ve navigated our lives, many forms of education (formal and tough knocks), built careers, raised kids (and sometimes parents), worked our tails off and gained lots and lots and lots of life experience, and yet, there is no ceremony, not time off to celebrate all of these incredible feats.

If this sounds like you, if you’re at that magical but sometimes mystifying place called mid-life, I encourage you to take a moment, or much longer, to pat yourself on the back and celebrate your incredible accomplishments.

And, if you’re feeling a little unsettled, uncertain about what comes next ….. well, congratulate yourself for continuing to stretch, for not just settling and sitting back on your heels! There’s a whole new world of opportunity opening up as you carry your life experience, tempering and wisdom forward into your next chapter.

So huge congratulations to all the grads. And in celebration of all you miraculous people who have navigated enough life to help launch these next generations on their journeys. Here’s to the next phase of your own.

To schedule a complimentary Mid-Life Mastery breakthrough session click here — https://calendly.com/cylvia/30min

Love,

Cylvia

 

Choosing Your Easter

Posted on by Cylvia Hayes

Remember it’s not about the crucifixion. It’s not about the ones jabbing spears or pounding in the nails.

The whole point is the resurrection.  It’s all about the incredible strength and beauty that rises up because of the challenge.

Jesus demonstrated that when we remember who we truly are, when we overcome our own sense of littleness and separation, when we stop crucifying others and ourselves, we too can work wonders and spread healing and light in the world.

Your resilience is your brilliance and Easter is every single moment you choose to step into the truth of You.

“By your endurance you will gain your souls.” – Luke 21: 19.

Happy Easter.

Love,

Cylvia

Crisis or Awakening?

Posted on by Cylvia Hayes

Are you at that mystifying place called mid-life wondering how the heck you got here and what’s next? Maybe you’re facing some unexpected challenges or just wanting to have more of a sense of purpose and direction. Maybe there’s an urge to hit the reset button.

It might not feel like it but I promise you if you are facing major transition and challenges at this particular turning point in life you are sitting on a gold mine of possibility and potential.

I was devastated and freaked out when my life and career blew up in seeming catastrophic fashion in my late 40s. It felt like everything I’d worked for was destroyed and the best was behind me. Well, believe me, I am thrilled to report that I couldn’t have been more wrong! My unasked for life reset opened up whole new pathways to understanding, self-forgiveness and peace that utterly transformed my way of being in the world and with myself. My crisis turned out to be a mid-life awakening and it was the best gift I never imagined!

Here’s one thing I know, surviving, overcoming and thriving isn’t so much about analyzing and hustling gathering information as it is about remembering what we already know; it’s about coming home. There is no need to become better or more or different; all you need is to remember who you already are.

Here are a few tips for mastering mid-life transition:

  • Learn to question and manage fear.

Mark Twain once said, “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.” The simple truth is we tend to harbor a lot of fear about future “what ifs?” that may not even come to pass. Learning to release unproductive fear is a key to empowered transition.

  • Do a Can and Can’t Control exercise.

The secret to success and happiness is knowing that there are some things you can control and some things you cannot. Think about the situation or issue you are concerned about and make a list of what you can control and what you can’t. Spend your effort on things you can control and let the rest go.

Most importantly remember, you are more than a body. You are more than a job, a title, a financial status, a role. You are more than you know. You have a choice to make. Every single moment holds the opportunity of rebirth, no matter what is swirling through the circumstances of your life just now.

It’s a damn shame that in our culture there is no mid-life rite of passage and celebration. I mean for goodness sake it’s a big deal making it through early adulthood and getting some seasoning and wisdom under our belts! But we don’t even have a way of pausing for breath and celebrating our success in getting this far.

I encourage you to do that right now. Take a breath. Give yourself a moment to appreciate all that you’ve accomplished up to this point. And remember, in so many powerful ways you are just getting started. After all, in any really great play all the best stuff happens after the intermission!

Something powerful is happening to you because you have something powerful to do.

With love,

Cylvia

 

If you’d like some support launching the next awesome chapter of your life I would be more than happy to talk with you. You can schedule a complimentary Mid-Life Mastery Breakthrough session here.

Love is Never Wrong

Posted on by Cylvia Hayes

In three days I will be halfway across the country picking up my nephew as he is released from prison. I say nephew, but we’re actually more like mom and son at this point. We’ve been through a lot together. Twice before I tried to offer him a stable base, once when he was a little boy and once as a very damaged teenager but at those times neither of us had the maturity or depth to make it work. This time is different; he and I both have been through a good deal of refining fire and love has grown much stronger than fear or frustration.

At the beginning of 2018, knowing I had about a year to get ready to bring him into my home and help him launch the rest of his life, I set a goal to have the resources in place to do the very best for him. Last year didn’t go quite as planned on the financial front as the legal battle with the Oregonian dragged on and on and extra, unexpected expenses popped up and yet, I leave in three days with the resources I need.

It doesn’t look like I’d envisioned, with me making a ton of money, having a chunk in savings for my nephew and having the drain of legal battles being behind me, etc., but I have what I need to offer love and huge opportunity to this young man. My life partner has been unbelievably supportive, with his time, big-hearted acceptance and a sense of humor about the complication this is no doubt going to add to our lives. He even purchased our airline tickets. Bless you Beloved — truly, I am such a lucky woman. Friends have stepped up out of the blue with financial help, enthusiasm and offers of mentorship. My mom has been saving money for my nephew to purchase clothes. My spiritual community has held this journey and transition in prayer every single day for several weeks now.

It’s just amazing and more than any other experience in my life proves that we really are all in this life together. Whether we notice it or not we are all supported by a vast matrix of people who touch our lives in a million ways big and small. Everywhere I look in this situation I see where other people, even strangers, have supported us. Not just the obvious examples, but also the teacher who delivered the GED program at the prison and the voc-tech director and trainers who helped my nephew navigate through his electrician’s apprenticeship and even other inmates who were rooting for him and helping protect him as he neared his release date. Beauty sometimes shows up even in the darkest of places.

So many times these past few weeks I’d have a little stab of nervousness about the disruption of bringing this big guy into my little home and all the changes that will come with it. But each time that little flicker of fear would slither in, it was instantly replaced with the words, “Love is never wrong.” Over and over again those words ran through my mind. I don’t believe I’ve ever more genuinely just expressed and embodied love for another human being. The ripples go beyond our direct relationship and even beyond those still living.

A few years ago, as I was going through an extraordinarily challenging, traumatic time I was working with a therapist and was surprised to be having a lot of difficult, regretful memories and emotions around my late sister (my nephew’s mother). I found myself wishing I had been mature enough to be there for her when she slipped further and further into drugs, depression and despair and our family pulled away.   The therapist suggested I write a love letter to my sister and as I worked on that I realized the best love letter I could offer her was helping her son make it through the horrific ordeal of prison and launch a healthy life on the other side. “Sis, if you’re listening, and I believe you are, your boy is in good shape and he’s about to be safe and in a stable place with a really good job.  He is full of  hope, gratitude and promise.  I hope you are smiling.  I love and miss you. Thank you for all the kindness you showed me.”

I guess it’s fitting that I keep thinking of the movie, The Shawshank Redemption, and especially the scene near the very end where Red has finally gotten out of prison and is in a bus headed to Mexico to join his friend Andy. Red says, “I find I am so excited I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head.” Red felt that way from finally realizing freedom. I’m feeling that way in anticipation of witnessing a loved one leave a horrible situation and finally land in a safe place where he can spread his wings and soar.

I didn’t consciously choose it, and I couldn’t see the full pattern of it until very recently, but my nephew and I are on a sacred journey together and if you’re reading this I guess in some small way you’ve joined the adventure.  I share this in part just to express my excitement but also, hopefully, to provide a little inspiration to those of you who may be having a hard time, struggling, and who may feel like the circumstances swirling through your life are keeping you imprisoned. I know how hard that is and I also know no storm lasts forever.   We are always swimming in a matrix of support, new opportunities are endless and freedom really is a choice. And, maybe most importantly, genuine love is never wrong.

We really are all in this together. Thanks for being part of this journey. Stay tuned and YIKES!!

Love,

Cylvia

You’re Invited to Your Own Power!

Posted on by Cylvia Hayes

Are you wanting more from your life? Looking to hit the reset button after life took a hard turn you hadn’t seen coming? Do you want to start or grow a mission-driven business? Do you want to get unstuck, period?

Then I invite you to join me at my upcoming reinvention and empowerment workshop. This is not your typical self-help workshop. Most personal development stuff is about trying to improve yourself, get rid of aspects you don’t like, overcome shortcomings. The problem is, that’s a scarcity-based approach and it just reinforces the message that you’re not good enough! It’s exactly the opposite of what we need to achieve more peace, power and success in our lives.

I learned this the hard way. I know exactly what it’s like to have life as you know it blow to pieces and find yourself reinventing career, relationships and even your basic personal identity at a time you never thought you’d need to. Several years ago, my career and life had reached heights I hadn’t dreamed of and then it all blew apart in a spectacular, public, “fall from grace”. I lost my business and ninety-percent of people I’d called friends or colleagues and, faced with all the legal challenges, I had to file bankruptcy.

At first I was terrified that my life might be broken beyond repair. For once I couldn’t just force my way forward and so, out of pure survival, I decided to treat it as an unasked for sabbatical. For the first time I truly surrendered and faced myself from the inside out and through that epic journey I realized up to that point I’d never really known myself at all, I had never before met my authentic Self.

For four years, as the legal challenges dragged on, I followed a path of study, reflection, growth and reinvention. I got certified as a life coach, completed the first chunk of ministerial school, and received training from numerous beautiful wisdom teachers. I realized that my whole life I’d been seeking power and success from outside sources – the approval of others, the way my business looked, even from the political arena — but the refining fires of life blowing to shreds burned away the BS that had been blocking me from my True Self and genuine power.

I developed a program that not only helped me heal but transformed my life in beautiful ways I never could have foreseen. I am now, happier, more peaceful, more successful and making a bigger positive difference than ever before. I radically reshaped my business because I knew I had to harness the trauma I’d been through and share the empowerment tools, strategies and insights I’d learned so that I could help more people make a bigger positive impact for themselves and our world.

I am deeply committed to helping others rediscover their authentic Selves, reclaim personal power and create lives and businesses that help heal our world. My empowered reinvention workshops are one way I do that and I would love to see you in the next one coming up Feb. 2nd.

In this workshop you’ll learn tried and true strategies to uncover your innate ability to:

  • Transform fear into clarity and a sense of empowerment
  • Find peace no matter what’s swirling in the circumstances of life
  • Embrace the awesome creative power of change and uncertainty
  • Find forgiveness, even of self
  • Develop a sense of genuine self-worth and safety

And the biggest outcome is learning to remember your own divine magnificence and get out of your own bad-ass True Self way!  

The path to power isn’t about looking outside for answers and authorities, trying to “fix” yourself, fill up places you perceive as empty, or even “attract” desirable things. The power is in remembering who you really are.

Let’s do that together February 2nd! Let’s make 2019 the best year of your life so far!

For more info and to register go to www.cylviahayes.net (go to Store tab and you will see the link there)

Here’s what some people had to say about the last workshop.

“It was a wonderful day …. I loved being a participant … your cloud of magical learning and how profound your teachings are. In gratitude for your sharing of your authentic self. – Tam

Thank you for the wonderful experience. It was truly fantastic, and really beneficial to me.  I’m definitely at a crossroads in my life, and a lot of things are up in the air.  I’m in need of finding the path that’s right for me, and in the process, am definitely working through a lot. Our class was right in line with that, and helped me immensely … Again, I thank you for this. – Maggie

You Wow’d me … workshop was amazing!I learned why I have been so withdrawn and lacking motivation. I also learned to get free of limiting thoughts, quit being so hard on myself, and embrace my new beautiful life even more. I so appreciate your workshop. – LD Sullivan

Designing the life you want isn’t about becoming more or better, it’s about remembering who you really are to begin with.  Remembering your True Self enables you to master your emotions, step out of suffering and into the life you really want – no matter the circumstances you’re facing right this moment.

True power is not outside of you and you are already magnificent, powerful and completely capable.

Date: February 2, 10am to 3pm

Location:  Unity Community at One World Center, Bend Oregon 

Register at: www.cylviahayes.net (go to Store tab and you will see the link there)

Before You Launch!

Posted on by Cylvia Hayes

The last day of the year! I don’t know about you, but I am more than ready to see 2018 in the rearview window! However before just saying “Buh bye 2018!” it’s really useful to take a little time to reflect what the year delivered.

These past 12 months have likely produced some beautiful moments as well as same challenges and setbacks. Taking a step back and looking a bit more holistically can offer up some hidden pearls of wisdom and insight.

Before fully launching into the new year I encourage you to spend some time asking,

  • What was the accomplishment, event, undertaking you are most proud of?
  • What was a mistake that provided a powerful lesson-learned?
  • What are you willing to shed, let go of, get rid of, in order to accomplish what you want to do next?

It is really important to WRITE DOWN your answers. The act of writing, even just bullet points, empowers the insight and change you’re after.

My own answers to these questions surprised me. At first, I thought my biggest accomplishment was finishing the first full draft of my book, but going a little deeper I realized the real accomplishment was staying the course. What I mean is that I completed the big projects I had committed to – the book, developing the online infrastructure for my new business, rolling out my new trainings and growing the Empowerment Coaching services – and I did all of that while staying true to my inner growth, meditation and spiritual practices.

What are your accomplishments, creations, major undertakings of 2018? It might be on the professional or personal level. Write down every single one that comes to and take a moment to celebrate all you accomplished. Then see if one or two really jump out.

My lesson-learned mistake was painful. I got burned from a business associate I had considered a friend and lost several thousand dollars in the process. The lesson is I KNEW BETTER! My inner wisdom was shouting, “This person is unreliable – don’t do it!” I ignored that inner voice and my own depth of integrity and made a move I shouldn’t have. In my whole career I’ve only had a couple of times where a client or partner wound up being a problem and EVERY SINGLE TIME I ignored the inner warning flags that were trying to wave my off. No more, I vow to never again ignore that inner voice of wisdom – lesson learned!

What mistake did you make this past year that you can use to learn and grow?

And then we come to the part about releasing the stuff that’s no longer serving us. This can be old projects on your DO list that you really don’t care about anymore, or old habits that keep you from being your best or even old stories you tell yourself about yourself.

My commitment is to release my tendency to compare my life, my work, my self with anyone else so that I step even more fully into the unique niche I have to play in our beautiful world.

What are you willing to release to take your life and work to a whole new level?

Spending a little time with these three questions is so worth it, and so are you!

Here’s to a happy end of the year just passing and to a massively powerful launch into 2019!

Cylvia

Christmas Rebirth

Posted on by Cylvia Hayes

Over the years my view of the meaning of Christmas has shifted a lot. Raised Christian, I understood it was a celebration of the birth of Jesus, but really, as far as I was concerned, it was all about the presents! My family was of pretty modest means but my parents got serious about Christmas and I loved it. I was so excited that for a stretch of several years, when both parents were off at work I would carefully remove my gifts from under the little tree, unwrap them, play with them a bit and then rewrap them before my parents got home.  They were none the wiser until many years later when I confessed my powerlessness over curiosity and anticipation.

As a young adult, I learned that the Christmas holiday had been placed in winter in an effort to drain some of the energy from the pagan celebrations around Winter Solstice. Although an unfortunate attempt by one culture to blot out another, there was nice symmetry between the two stories. On the one hand, seekers following the light of the Christmas star to witness a miracle. On the other, nature-oriented folks celebrating making it through the longest night of the year and moving once again toward light and warmth.

More recently my interpretation of Christmas has deepened. The power in this observance is not just celebrating the physical birth of an extraordinary human being or taking note of the turning of the seasons; the true power is in the opportunity for rebirth of Christ consciousness within.  This is the part of us that remembers we are much more than bodies, the part that remembers our inextricable connection to the Creator, the Source of all life.

I was raised believing Jesus and Christ are synonyms.  They aren’t.  Christ is a state of consciousness available to all of us.  Jesus was a human being who became fully aware of his innate Christ consciousness. I was also raised to believe that Jesus preached it had to be his way or the highway, but I now understand he was a way-shower, trying to guide others back to a living awareness of our inner Christ, the indwelling presence of God.

This time of year we cover our homes, businesses and churches with lights in celebration of Christmas and as a way to brighten the longest nights of the year. We mount electric representations of the star of Bethlehem and light candles in acts of reverence. This is all beautiful but the light that really matters isn’t a star in the sky or lengthening days, it’s the growing illumination of who we each truly are — magnificent, divine beings having a wild human ride.

Christmas is a special time indeed.  It’s an opportunity to review where we are spiritually, to feel the rebirth of our inner awareness of Source, and to resolve to let our own glorious light shine as a beacon of love, peace and hope for others. That is the greatest gift of all.

Merry Christmas!

Cylvia

#cylviahayes  #empowerment #InnerChristmas

I AM Gratitude

Posted on by Cylvia Hayes

Today I Am steeped in deep gratitude for who I Am, just exactly as I Am.  

I Am giving thanks for my life, exactly as it is, where it is, in Divine Order.

I Am giving thanks to Spirit, from Spirit, in advance, for the next growth and changes I desire, for the next beautiful unfoldings in my life and our world.

Comparison, envy, fear and unforgiveness I release to the Universe to be cleansed and corrected. Because I Am incomparable, a stream of individualized expression of God. So are you.

I Am grateful.

I Am gratitude.

I Am.

And so are You.

World Day of Prayer

Posted on by Cylvia Hayes

September 13th is Unity World Day of Prayer. One of the many things I love about Unity is its empowering approach to prayer. Instead of beseeching help from a separate, “out-there” God, Unity practices affirmative prayer, claiming the outcome we want as already being truth. For example instead of asking for healing from an illness we affirm the health and wholeness that is our natural state. Instead of asking for more money, we affirm our place in the flow of infinite abundance where all our needs are met with ease and grace.

This type of prayer is not so much asking something of God or placing an affirmation in our mind as it is lifting our eyes above the appearance of limitation or lack. It’s about cleansing our mind and releasing its inherent power.

In affirmative prayer we enter into conscious remembrance of our Oneness with Source and of our Divine Nature. In a Letter to Adam, Sue Sikking writes, “True prayer is not asking for things, not even the best of things. Prayer is the lifting of the consciousness to the place where these things are.”

Prayer, like meditation, is even more powerful when two or more gather together with shared intention. During this World Day of Prayer for twenty-four hours people across the globe will be joining together activating the inherent power of mind to create good in our lives and world.

Together, we lift our consciousness to the place of peace and wholeness, which is our natural state. Let us all begin to hear the ancient familiar melody reminding us who we really are in full glory and goodness. The love that we are, the only thing that is real, pours forth with such fullness it leaves no room for anything else. Healing dances into every corner of creation. A song of peace echoes through the world with every choice we make. We affirm the Kingdom of Heaven is here now. And so it is. Amen.

Unity World Day of Prayer.

Namaste,

Cylvia

The Awesome Power of Unlearning

Posted on by Cylvia Hayes

I used to be a competitive barrel racer. I’ve ridden dozens of charging horses through the cloverleaf pattern. Many horses, after running the pattern over and over again, would begin to anticipate each turn so much that they’d cut too soon, either smashing my shin into the metal rim or knocking the barrel over entirely, or both. Those horses had become so trained they’d become losers.

The only way to make them winners again was to “untrain” them. We’d go back to a walking pace and take the corners in different ways so they could unlearn what they thought they knew to do.

A few years back life nailed me hard and I found myself questioning, a lot, about a lot of things I thought I knew — myself, God, how life works. It was scary. I mean I’d spent decades forming my opinion of who I was, what I was, what my strengths and skills were, how to do things and get through life. Sitting in the question, “What if I’ve been wrong about it all?” was deeply disturbing, verging on a psychological or existential crisis.

Yet under the veneer of fear, was also curiosity, a little spark of excitement, a fragile thread of hope as I began brushing against the possibility that maybe I, and life itself, was actually far more than I’d believed.

The more I let go of the false security blanket of knowing based on the past and shaped by what this insane world puts forward as real, the more I began to experience Source, God, Holy Spirit and my Higher Self directly.

Allowing space and uncertainty for our minds to be untrained doesn’t mean we’re losing our minds! Just the opposite, it means, we’re starting to use more and more of our power and potential. Our True Norths – our deepest values and genuine loves — are still in place as our consciousness expands beyond the chains of old dogmas and programming. We don’t throw away old skill sets or talents; we just open up to use them more fully. We don’t lose our ability to make decisions; we give ourselves a chance to make better ones.

A Course In Miracles advises:

Simply do this: Be still, and lay aside all thoughts of what you are and what God is; all concepts you have learned about the world; all images you hold about yourself. Empty your mind of everything it thinks is either true or false, of good or bad, of every thought is judges worthy, and all the ideas of which it is ashamed. Hold onto nothing. Do not bring with you one thought the past has taught, nor one belief you ever learned before from anything. Forget this world … and come with wholly empty hands unto your God.

As we all strive to improve ourselves and our lives, we take in a lot of personal and professional development education and training. That’s all well, good and worthwhile, but I think it’s important to remember, that whether it’s winning at barrel racing or winning at life untraining is often the key.

One of the most powerful statements in the Universe is, “I do not know what this situation means, or what I really want from it, or even what I really am, but I am genuinely willing to deeply listen and to learn.”

And guess what?  Yoda agrees!

Here’s to emptying our minds so that they can be refilled, refreshed and re-empowered.

Cylvia Hayes